Opposite Day
by gracegrrl007
Summary: While the idols discuss the topic of Opposite Day, an American holiday discovered by the twins, a large earthquake suddenly strikes that takes them to a world where everyone is stuck in their opposite state-except Producer. Now, the idols' faithful producer must find a way to change all of his idols back to normal before it's too late. *Minimal yaoi/yuri and LOTS of OOC.
1. Introduction

**( Author's Note: OK, so this is a project I've been thinking of for a LONG time. The characters will be OOC. VERY OOC. They're SUPPOSED to be like that.  
At the end of each chapter will be a summary of all of the characters you just met in bold. If you ever get confused, that's what the nifty summaries are for.  
THERE WILL BE MINIMAL YURI AND YAOI! Think about it people. Considering the personalities of most of these people, a lot of them will be lesbian/gay (ok, only three but still). Don't get your hopes up for pervy yaoi/yuri lemons or makeout scenes or anything. I will not write that. But there will be mentions of crushes and stuff, and a few close calls, and lots of clinging/snuggling/cheek-kissing/hand-kissing stuff.**

**OK! With that out of the way, let's begin!)**

Introduction

It had started out as a normal day; everything had been in order, the idols had been being their usual selves, and lessons had been happening as needed. No one could explain the spontaneous earthquake that had taken them to this strange world.

It had all begun when Ami and Mami shared their discovery of Opposite Day with the rest of the agency. Apparently it was some sort of American holiday in which you behaved and spoke and sang the opposite of the way you usually would.

"For instance," Ami had begun, "Mami and Ami would have to become British gentlemen. We'd need to be all refined and normal and reserved and drink tea all the time and scoff at the stupidity of the young folk nowadays."

"When someone gives you something," Mami had continued, "you'd say 'you're welcome' instead of 'thank you'. Get it?"

"I guess that makes sense," Yayoi had said.

Ami and Mami had giggled excitedly. "So, wanna celebrate it? It's today in the USA! Mami means…it's not today in Japan!" Mami had squealed. "See…don't see?"

"No," the idols had responded, in true opposite day fashion.

The twins had then proceeded to act like a stereotypical British gentleman while the rest of the idols thought up their opposites and began to act that way.

Producer had been the only one who thought the idea was a bit too silly, so he didn't participate. Even the people Ami and Mami called on their cell-phones (these people being the members of 876, 961, and 331 Pros) had agreed to try out opposite day (some more readily than others).

So when the earthquake struck and took them to this random dimension where everyone but Producer was stuck in their opposite state, the man decided he would need to find a way to get them all back.

But how?

Such is the question that shall be answered in the future.

Will Producer be able to save his idols from acting opposite forever? What are the idols' opposite personalities anyways? And why are there OCs involved in this fanfiction? Read on to find out!


	2. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Minase Iori flipped the page of her book. There was a cup of tea by her side, tea she had made herself, and the book was neat and highly sophisticated. Of course, for someone such as Minase Iori, reading was a simple thing, so she found no trouble in figuring out all the big words.

A loud yell sounded from just outside the door to the agency's lounge room, where Iori was seated.

"IOOOORIIII-CHAAAAN~!"

Iori immediately slammed her book closed, careful to reinsert her bookmark, and tossed it onto the chair next to her. She hustled to the door just in time to crash into a very frazzled-looking Kikuchi Makoto, who had just thundered up the stairs and crashed into the former, and was now sobbing loudly into her shoulder.

Iori smiled kindly and rubbed the girl's back gently. "Now, now, calm down, dear," she soothed. "Did that cruel Hagiwara-san come after you again?"

Those of you who just read that are probably thinking, "What in the world did I just read?" Well, this is Opposite Day. Deal with it.

Makoto drew away slowly and wiped her eyes, which was smearing her mascara but at this point she didn't care. "I…I-I don't understand why she won't just leave me alone…! What did I do to her, anyways?"

"She's just a grouch," Iori cooed. "Come now, you'll ruin your makeup. Grab a tissue, OK, dear? Let me handle Hagiwara-san."

"She'll hurt you," Makoto whimpered immediately, latching onto Iori's shoulders.

Iori smiled sympathetically. "Relax. Just take a seat and calm yourself down, alright?" She leaned in and planted a light kiss on the girl's cheek, causing a blush to spread across her face.

"R…right, I-Iori-chan. Th-thank you."

As the now-shy-and-girly Makoto took a seat on the couch with a tissue as she'd been instructed, Hagiwara Yukiho burst through the door, a scowl on her face and her hand in a fist. To a group of men, she would be quite the sight in her miniskirt and tube-top, but that was what she was aiming for, anyways. This _was_ Opposite Yukiho, after all, and Opposite Yukiho was Tokyo's resident slut-y thug.

"Tea," she demanded, addressing Makoto. "Now."

Makoto squeaked, jumped to her feet, and bowed quickly, then hustled into the kitchen. Yukiho took her place on the couch and propped her feet on the table, picking at her teeth with a perfectly manicured nail. Iori glared at her.

"Hagiwara-san," she began firmly, "would you stop scaring poor Makoto-chan? She's never done anything to you."

"She annoys me," Yukiho said simply. Even her voice sounded much gruffer.

Iori frowned. "That's no reason to go bullying her," she chastised.

"Shut up, Minase," Yukiho snapped.

Iori sighed loudly. She had been trying for years to get Yukiho to lay off. _I guess it's just not going to happen, _she sighed inwardly. _Poor, dear Makoto-chan. The little darling will be bullied until the day she dies._

As if Iori thinking about her had drawn her out, Makoto slowly emerged from the kitchen holding a platter of tea. She passed the platter to Yukiho, hands shaking, and the brunette snatched it from her quickly. Yukiho took a sip of the tea, then nodded slightly.

"You've escaped punishment this time," she muttered harshly. "Don't let me see you mess up. Now get out of my sight, you sicken me."

Makoto squeaked, bowed gratefully, and ran off to hide behind Iori, the skirt of her white dress billowing behind her. Iori turned and patted her head gently.

The door opened again, now revealing a familiar blonde, who trudged tiredly into the agency and plopped onto the couch. Iori immediately abandoned Makoto with a cry of delight and ran to the blonde.

"Miki-chan! Oh, my beloved Miki-chan, thank goodness you're back!" she cried, grabbing the girl's hand and kissing it. "Miki-chan, how many laps around town did you do this time?"

"Six," Miki announced. "Miki's pretty tired, nano. But Miki needs to go practice now. Minase-chan, move."

Iori wilted. She slowly moved away from Miki, who stood and wandered off towards the lessons room without so much as a glance at the other two girls.

"H-hello, Miki-chan," Makoto called after her. "You look beautiful, as usual."

"Meh," Miki uttered, vanishing out of sight.

Iori huffed and placed her hands on her hips. "That Miki-chan," she muttered. "She's always exercising and practicing. She never makes time for me anymore! I thought we had a special relationship!"

"I'll have a special relationship with you, Iori-chan," Makoto offered. Her comment was immediately followed by a deep blush.

Iori smiled warmly at her. "Come now, dear. You know I'm not interested in you like that. Isn't best friends good enough?"

"N…no…"

"Well, it should be. Now, be a good girl and make me some more tea please, will you darling? I'd like to finish my book."

"Y-yes, of course, Iori-chan!"

"More for me too, Kikuchi."

"Y-yes ma'am, Hagiwara-san…!"

Iori watched as Makoto ran back into the kitchen, tripping on the way, and then she took a seat in her chair and continued to read.

** I'm guessing most of you readers are wondering what the heck just happened. Well, you have just witnessed Opposite Iori—a kindhearted and gentle young lass with a passion for serving others, an immense friendship with Makoto, and a crush on the girl named Miki.**

** You've also met Opposite Makoto—a shy, feminine girl with a deep-seated fear of Yukiho, a love for almost every girl in the agency (or every girl in general, rather) and an uncanny ability to make tea and trip over her own feet. Basically, she has become a lesbian Yukiho-Haruka.**

** Opposite Yukiho, on the other hand, is a cruel, generally frightening thug who is usually seen flirting with a large group of men. She has particular hatred towards Makoto, for no reason other than the fact that she's annoyed by her, and speaks harshly to everyone. She is known to be one of the strongest idols of the group and has a temper hotter than Hades.**

** Lastly, there's Opposite Miki—a girl with a passion for exercise and activity who often chastises lazy persons, has a generally pessimistic outlook on life, and has a distaste for absolutely everything. She is aware of Iori's feelings for her but chooses to ignore them, opting instead to be completely boring and practically lifeless while parading the town in sports gear.**

** Such are the opposite personalities of these four girls. Let's meet some more, shall we?**


	3. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

"Such silly young lads and lasses," Futami Ami sighed to her sister. She took a sip of tea, keeping her pinky in the air.

"Yes, how silly indeed," her sister agreed, examining the group of frolicking idols not far away. The group consisted of Akizuki Ritsuko, Kisaragi Chihaya, and Amagase Touma. Standing in the background and chatting about how ridiculous these people were were Mitarai Shouta, Ijuuin Hokuto, and Takatsuki Yayoi.

"Chihaya-chan! Chihaya-chan, look! I made a sand castle!" Ritsuko cheered, clapping her hands in delight.

"I made an electric guitar!" Chihaya retaliated. "And a snake!"

"That's nothing, I made a teddy bear!" Touma scoffed.

Both girls quickly darted over to him to "ooh" and "ah" at the usually-grouchy male idol's creation.

"Can I keep it?" Chihaya asked. "It can sing along to my screamo music!"

"Sure, you can both share it," Touma agreed, sitting back and allowing the girls easy access to his sand-teddy.

"Foolish children," Ami muttered under her breath.

"Indeed," Mami agreed.

"YOU GUYS!" Chihaya shouted. "WANNA HEAR MY SCREAMO IMPRESSION?!"

Ritsuko cheered. "If it wastes time and is completely unproductive in every possible way shape and form, then yes!"

"I love you guys," Touma decided.

"I love you," Hokuto replied from afar.

"…OK…?"

"I'm going to go waste my money," Yayoi announced. "I don't have like, any of it, but I'm going to waste it anyways."

"Can I come?" Ritsuko begged.

"No!" Yayoi shouted. "I hate you! I hate all of you! Filthy peasants!"

"I'M SCREAMING SCREAMO!" Chihaya screamed. "THIS IS MY SCREAMO! Y'ALL LIKE MY SCREAMO?! You can't beat screamo, you guys. You know that, right? Who needs an actual singing voice? Let's all waste valuable practicing time by shouting things at random pedestrians!"

"I love wasting time I could be using to improve as an idol, because right now I really stink, by shouting things at complete strangers!" Touma yelped.

"And I love wasting absolutely everything, especially when it has to do with you guys because you're the best!" Ritsuko added.

"Please…please be quiet because…I-I have a headache and I'm sorry, you all hate me, I'll just shut up," Shouta muttered quietly.

"Shut up, manslave," Yayoi snapped.

"…yes ma'am…"

"Don't be mean to him," Hokuto chastised, sliding a protective (and maybe slightly flirtatious) arm around the boy's shoulders. He smiled at his younger teammate. "Are you alright, Shouta-kun?"

Shouta squeaked, ducked away from him, and went to hide under the slide away from all the people who hated him, which was how he liked things now that he was Opposite Shouta.

"I love you," Hokuto called after him.

"No you don't. Everyone hates me. …I hope," Shouta whimpered.

Chihaya ran over to the twins. "You guys! Look at this! I've got, like…no boobs! Isn't that hilarious?!" She then proceeded to burst out laughing. "I'M FLAT AS A BOARD! I LOVE MY BODY!"

"And I love you," Touma declared.

"I love you too, because it's not like I have any reason to hate you, especially not after your agency published a horrible story about me in a magazine! Like, that's no reason to hold grudges! Wanna make out while blasting screamo and then shoot some birds and dogs?"

"Sure, I love doing completely irrelevant things that make no sense and prevent me from practicing to become Top Idol! Because I'm a hopeless little freak anyhow, so I shouldn't even try!"

"Can I come too? I love wasting gas in a car by driving around the city until you find a random bird-and-dog shooting range that is apparently legal in Japan!"

"Sure, let's all go!"

Together, the three time-wasting, frolicking idols darted off to Chihaya's car, where Ritsuko drove them randomly around the city until they ran out of gas and had to buy more.

Ami and Mami laughed like true British gentlewomen.

"What idiotic fools," Mami trilled.

"Indeed," agreed Ami.

** So what have we learned? We've met Opposite Ami and Mami—as promised, the twins have become the image of a British gentleman, drinking tea, chastising the foolish and childish, and speaking in a polite manner.**

** Opposite Ritsuko loves wasting time, money, and pretty much everything. She's very laid-back and rarely yells unless instructed or having fun. She bonds easily with all her idols and considers them a huge family, especially when one of them is getting into trouble, which she will usually encourage.**

** We've also met Opposite Chihaya—she hates singing, loves "screamo" music, and adores wasting her practicing time on things that make no sense. She also hates birds, dogs, and people who like birds and dogs. In addition, she is extremely proud of her flat chest and flaunts it as often as possible.**

** Opposite Touma is generally loud and obnoxious, also loves wasting his time, and believes himself to be a lost cause as far as being an idol is concerned, so he usually doesn't bother trying. He has a love for absolutely everyone, which is really weird but this is Opposite Touma after all, and will typically go along with whatever Chihaya and Ritsuko say. **

** Together, Ritsuko, Chihaya, and Touma are known as the Time-Wasting Trio, since they're almost always found running around town doing absolutely nothing of importance, especially when there's work to be done.**

** Opposite Yayoi is a snob in every sense of the word. She hates work, most people, and having money in her pocket. She also treasures herself above all other things. She thinks poorly of Iori and the two of them argue frequently.**

** In this world, Opposite Shouta hates almost everything, especially himself, and is rather shy and willing to go along with whatever anyone else says. He's particularly terrified of Hokuto, Touma, the twins, and Yayoi.**

** And last but not least, Opposite Hokuto. The defining trait of our Idol Prince is that he now repels women and is drawn to men. He also tends to lash out at elders, work hard at absolutely everything (especially dancing) and chastise the others for work done wrong. He's particularly infatuated with Shouta and Touma.**

** And now, we move on to more of our crazy, opposite idols.**


	4. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

"Ohmigosh! You guys, you guys, guess what? I LOVE YOU ALL!" Fujiwara Jasper shouted, flinging open his arms for a hug. Without waiting, he zoomed over to Amami Haruka and hugged her tightly. "Am I adorable?"

"NO!" Haruka quickly pried the young boy off of herself and went to stand on a yoga mat.

"Don't behave so rudely," Akutoku Sora chastised. He straightened his suit. "P-perhaps Amami-san did not want to be hugged, and you have just caused her discomfort."

"Dude, you lost me at like, the third word," Jasper laughed. "LOOK! FIRE BOOM!" He lit a match, threw it onto a pile of branches sprinkled in gasoline, and watched it explode, clapping with delight.

"Would you shut up?" Haruka lashed. "Geez! Stop being so obnoxious!"

"Sorry, Haruka-chan," Jasper apologized. "Hey, hey Haruka-chan, I love you." He grinned.

"Well, I hate you! I hate everyone! Especially that stupid screamo chick…"

"You know who I hate? Chihaya-chan 'cause she's weird, Iori-chan 'cause she's stupid, and you know who I love? My best friend. 'Cause she's perfect."

"Y-you mean Makoto-chan?" Sora confirmed.

"Don't you _ever_ mention that name around me again," Nakamura Kentaro, or Kenchi as we know him, interrupted. He scowled and turned up the volume on his music player. "Especially not when it has anything to with the word 'perfect'."

"Don't be mean to lovely little Makoto-chan!" Sora whined. "…please."

"Sora, shut up."

"Y…yes sir…"

"HEY YOU GUYS WATCH THIS!" Jasper did a backflip, failing, and landing face down on the floor. "I'M SO SMALL AND CUTE!" He laughed obnoxiously.

"Would any of you like to discuss theology with me?" Miura Azusa asked from her place in her thinking ditch.

"BOOM!" Jasper blew up a tree and laughed.

"Would you shut the heck up?!" Kenchi and Haruka snapped at the same time.

Sora sighed and took a seat on a rock. "Why did we come here again?"

"You were being stupid and made us come here to hide from Yukiho," Kenchi answered. "Yukiho's hot. Why'd you make me leave Yukiho? Plus she was surrounded by about twelve other hot chicks."

"H-Hagiwara-san is the bane of my existence," Sora muttered. "In other words, I'm horrified of her."

"No one cares, dude," Jasper announced.

"You know who the bane of my existence is?" Kenchi asked.

"Yes," Sora answered.

"My best friend?" Jasper clarified. "You guys know her as Makoto-chan but I know her as Awesome My Best Friend."

"Yeah, that chick."

"You know who the bane of my existence is? All of you!" Haruka snapped. "Stupid little..."

"I love you!" Jasper yelled. "Hey guys! Watch what happens when I blow on this match!" He demonstrated. The fire went out. "…aw…"

"You're stupid," Kenchi stated.

"I love you," Jasper answered.

"Do any of you know the meaning of life?" Azusa asked. "Well, I'm going to go home and research it." She got out of her ditch and walked away.

"Bye Azusa-chan! I love you!"

"Farewell, Miura-san."

"Get outta my sight."

"I HATE ALL OF YOU! WE'RE AL GONNA DIE EVENTUALLY SO WHY SHOULD I CARE ABOUT YOU PEOPLE?! LIFE SUCKS!"

"No it doesn't!" Jasper gasped. "I love my life! My life is like, awesome! FIRE BOOM!" He blew up another pile of sticks and laughed obnoxiously.

Then Haruka groaned in annoyance, shoved Jasper onto the floor (which made the latter start crying) and ran away. Sora gently helped Jasper to his feet, dusted the younger boy off, and then walked away while making grand flourishes. Kenchi just sat there and stared at pictures of girls in bikinis.

** Now, let's review, starting with Opposite Azusa—an intelligent, intellectual, focused woman with an impeccable sense of direction and the ability to repel any man who comes within a foot of her, but that's how she likes things. She prefers to spend her time thinking about philosophy and doesn't usually like people.**

** Opposite Sora has become a rather introverted and socially awkward gentleman. He is terrified of Yukiho and also hates her for no apparent reason and is madly in love with Makoto. In addition, he tends to get called ugly, which he despises, and prefers to be called beautiful day and night.**

** Our friend Opposite Jasper is now a pyromaniac who loves everything and everyone, except for water, Iori, getting hurt, Chihaya, people who hate everyone, Azusa, people who think he's older than he actually is, Yukiho, and getting called a boy. He loves being called adorable and being happy. He and Makoto are also best friends.**

** Oh yeah, and he's a pervert, particularly to Miki, who despises him for it.**

** Moving on to Opposite Haruka—a pessimistic, cruel girl who enjoys hurting herself, yelling at people, and hating on Chihaya. She no longer wears her ribbons, finding them too stupid and childish, and instead spends her time grumbling about the cruelty of humanity.**

** And lastly is Opposite Kenchi—he has now become a player, hitting on every girl he sees but Makoto, whom he finds disgusting. He's generally rude and snappish and is known to be one of the boldest of the idols.**

** Now we move on to our last batch of idols.**


	5. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

"OH MY GOSH YOU GUYS YOU GUYS LOOK COME TALK TO ME!" Mizutani Eri screamed loudly. "People are so cool, you know that?! LOOK AT ALL MY NEW FRIENDS!"

"Strangers?! Where?" Shijou Takane demanded, looking around.

Eri waved her over and began chattering nonstop with her crowd of strangers.

Takane ran over to the strangers excitedly. "OMG, like, I'm Takane! I was born in Japan and…" She then proceeded to tell the strangers her entire life story, using as much informal text-talk as possible.

"You guys are being annoying again," Hidaka Ai complained. She instantly hid her face in a book and pretended to have not spoken.

Ganaha Hibiki just groaned. "Y'all bother me," she muttered.

"Hibiki! Hibiki, look! I'm riding a pony!" Eri laughed. "Take a picture! But don't put it on the internet! The internet is EVIL!"

"Eri!" Akizuki Ryo shouted. "Eri, look! Look what I can do with my fingers!"

"WHOA, is that a hand-knot?! I WANNA TRY!"

"I don't know how to get it off! It's hilarious! Let's go show off to a bunch of random people in the most perverted and flamboyant way possible!"

"Great, I love perverts and flamboyancy! And strangers!"

"Strangers?! Where?!" Takane gasped, looking away from her group of strangers.

"Up your butt," Hibiki snapped. "Now shaddup."

"OMG, Hibiki, you need to, like…chill out," Takane scoffed. "Like, whatevs."

"I hate sunlight and happiness and making friends and people who like me," Hibiki sighed. "Leave me alone.

"Like, whatever, girl. TTYL, I'm gonna go tell strangers like, my life story! Like, isn't that totes hilars?"

"Um…I'm trying to read…please…" Ai whimpered. "I…my book…I'll shut up."

"Good. I hate ya."

"…sorry, Ganaha-san…"

"HEY! YOU GUYS! I'M SCREAMING FOR NO REASON! ISN'T THAT HILARIOUS?!" Ryo yelled. He then proceeded to laugh loudly and obnoxiously.

"I LOVE SCREAMING! I'LL SCREAM WITH YOU!" Eri yelled back. She joined in the obnoxious laughter. "Down with the internet!"

"Look! Strangers!" Takane cheered. "'Kay, bye losers. I'm gonna share my life story with the totes great strangers." She trotted over to the strangers and talked to them.

Hibiki stood up, kicked a rock, and spat on the ground, then sat down again. Ai continued to read her book.

Otonashi Kotori suddenly appeared out of nowhere. "Hey, freaks," she greeted coldly. Ai squeaked and hid her face behind her book. Kotori walked over and knocked the book out of her hands, into the mud, then laughed and walked over to Hibiki.

"Get off," she ordered.

"Make me," Hibiki countered.

Kotori shoved her off and sat on the rock.

"I hate ya!" Hibiki shouted.

"I hate you more," Kotori lashed back

"Not as much as I hate everything," Hibiki shot triumphantly.

"Ugh, whatever, loser," Kotori sighed. She crossed her legs. "You. Nerd. Get me a soda."

"I'm…I-I'm not a nerd, I'm just shy, and I'll get you a soda Otonashi-sama," Ai said quietly. She stood and hustled off to get some soda while Kotori chuckled evilly to herself.

"I love myself," she murmured. "And I hate all you."

"Right back atcha," Hibiki muttered crossly. She sat on the ground and started playing with rocks.

** Time for our final review, dear readers. Let's start with Opposite Eri. She has now become flamboyant, outlandish, and chatty. She hates the internet, people associated with the internet, and cats. She's also very loud and obnoxious.**

** Opposite Ai is quiet, reserved, and shy. She likes to read, use her mother's fame to her advantage, and be completely normal. **

** Opposite Takane hates being formal, ramen, and most cute things. She speaks in text-talk and valley-girl-language. She has a habit of going to random strangers and telling them her life story. She has a very good relationship with Touma and despises Hibiki and Miki.**

** Speaking of Hibiki, Opposite Hibiki is a girl who woke up on the wrong side of life. She's irritable, grumpy, and rude, and she hates most people, especially Miki, Takane, and Yayoi. She likes to be by herself and do nothing but hate life. And she sucks at sports.**

** Opposite Ryo is loud, obnoxious, and flamboyant. He and Eri often go around town doing annoying stuff and screaming things. He's also become a gay pervert, but I think you all saw that coming so I won't explain it any further.**

** The final opposite idol/office clerk is Opposite Kotori, because I felt bad about leaving her out of everything so here she is. She's a typical bully and likes being cruel and heartless. She hates soap operas, people who like having delusional fantasies, ad most people in general.**

** Let's check in on our protagonist, Producer, shall we?**


	6. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

"Oh, wow…what happened?" Producer muttered to himself, sitting up and rubbing his head. He felt up to his eyes to make sure his glasses weren't broken. Judging by the fact he could actually see more than two feet in front of him, he figured they were fine. Satisfied, he stood up…

…only to be knocked back down when a white-clad teenage girl came bowling into him.

"O-oh my gosh, are you alright…?!" the girl gasped, scrambling to her feet and holding out a hand to Producer. Producer accepted it gladly.

"I'm fine," he insisted, reaching up to adjust his glasses.

They weren't there.

_Great._

The girl squeaked, apparently noticing his lack of sight aid, and quickly grabbed his glasses off the floor. She handed them to him.

Producer took them gratefully and put them back on. They were cracked slightly in one lense, but at least he could see. He looked down to give his thanks to the girl, but she had vanished. He heard a small whimper and turned around. There she was, hiding behind him in fear.

_But hiding from what? _Producer thought. It was then that he noticed how familiar the girl looked. In fact, she was so familiar that he was positive he knew her from somewhere, and he had a pretty good feeling of who it was. He was about to question her when a loud, gruff voice rang out and she whimpered again, clinging tightly to his shirt.

"Kikuchi! Where the heck did you go, you punk?! I'm not done with you!"

_Kikuchi. Yep, that's her alright. _"Makoto?"

Makoto squeaked.

"You alright?"

This time, there was a slight shake of the head and a squeak.

"Hey! Stop hiding, you little coward! I know you're over here!"

Producer tore his eyes away from Makoto to seek out the girl who was screaming for her. The sight that met his eyes almost made him want to gag.

It was Yukiho.

Hagiwara Yukiho, of all people. And she was dressed like a Victoria's Secret model. Producer looked away, having seen enough of Yukiho than he had ever wanted to see or ever would want to see.

Yukiho promptly stomped over to Producer, grabbed the collar of his shirt, and yanked him to her face. "You! Have you seen that scum Kikuchi around here?" she demanded. "That punk spilled tea all over my shirt! And right in front of a bunch of hot men, too!"

Producer just blinked. By now, Makoto was shaking so much he could feel it. Apparently she had herself situated far enough behind him that Yukiho couldn't see her. And he wasn't about to give her away, even though he was completely weirded out.

"I haven't seen her," he lied.

"Oh, really?" Yukiho smirked. "Then I guess you wouldn't mind if I…" Suddenly, she tossed the man aside by his shirt, revealing a frightened and very feminine-looking Makoto. The black-haired girl screamed and scrambled backwards, only to trip and fall to the ground with a cry. Yukiho loomed over her.

"Gotcha, ya little brat."

Makoto screamed again and covered her face with her arms. "P-please don't hurt me, Hagiwara-san…! I-I didn't mean to spill the tea on you! I'll clean it all off, I-I promise!"

Producer ran to her side and knelt by her, shoving a hand in front of her protectively. "Yukiho, calm down," he said coolly. "I don't know what's got you so worked up, but there's no reason to go about harassing Makoto. Just leave her alone." _This is so weird…_

Yukiho let out a small hiss. "Stay out of my way!" she ordered.

"Could someone tell me what's going on here real quick?" Producer begged. "OK, one, the Yukiho I know is shy, afraid of men, and best friends with Makoto."

Yukiho laughed.

"And two, the Makoto I know is boyish, stupid, and best friends with Yukiho."

"I'm not stupid…!" Makoto complained.

"…yeah, you're not my Makoto."

"O-of course I'm not 'yours'."

"So please explain."

"There's nothing TO explain, old man," Yukiho snapped. "Now move it, I got a score to settle with this little brat." Without waiting for an answer, she shoved Producer out of the way and knelt over Makoto, raising her fist in the air. Makoto squeaked and hid her face. "This is gonna hurt, 'sweetheart'!"

Producer gritted his teeth and leapt at Yukiho, knocking her aside. The brunette let out a cry and fell to the ground. Makoto scrambled to her feet, tripped, then stood again. Producer sat up.

"Yukiho, just calm down, alright? I don't know what's going on here, but I do know that as long as I'm around, you are not going to lay a finger on that girl. OK?" he warned.

Yukiho bit his hand.

"Ow! What the heck?!"

"Makoto-chan!"

Iori suddenly came running to the scene, calling Makoto's name. Makoto cried out in joy and ran to her. Iori caught her in a tight embrace ,and Makoto sobbed loudly into her shoulder while Producer slowly climbed off of the struggling Yukiho to examine the newcomer.

"Are you alright, dear? It's OK, I'm here now," Iori murmured, stroking Makoto's hair gently.

Producer tried not to laugh.

"Iori-chan…! Thank goodness you came!" Makoto wailed. "Hagiwara-san was—"

"I know, I know, dear," Iori soothed. "Calm down, Iori-chan is here." She rubbed Makoto's back tenderly and shot Yukiho a harsh glare. The latter returned it with a sarcastic grin.

"OK, Iori," Producer began, advancing towards the two, "can you tell me what's going on? Where am I? Why is everything all…weird?"

Iori blinked. "Weird…? Nothing is weird," she announced. "Don't you know? It's Opposite Day."

"Yeah, right, Opposite Day," Producer sighed. "But don't you think you guys are taking it a little too far?"

"I haven't the slightest idea what you're talking about, sir," Iori admitted.

"The whole Opposite Day thing. You're taking things too far! I mean, Makoto could have gotten seriously hurt," Producer chastised, shooting Yukiho a harsh glare. Yukiho rolled her eyes and crossed her arms.

"I-it's OK," Makoto said quietly. "She's hurt me worse before…"

"…when?!" Producer wondered aloud.

"All the time, really…"

"Wait, what?"

"You know what, I'll let you off today, Kikuchi," Yukiho sighed. "You're lucky Minase and the old man showed up to save your pretty little butt. But you won't get away from me next time."

"I'm not old!" Producer insisted. "I'm only in my twenties! Seriously, guys!"

"Whatever," Yukiho lashed. She turned on her heels and stalked off, leaving the other three alone.

"Iori-chan, you saved me…" Makoto breathed, pulling away slightly from the hug, her cheeks red. "I-I could just kiss you right now…"

"None of that," Iori said quickly. "I have to save my first kiss for Miki-chan, remember?"

Producer mentally shot himself in hopes he would wake up from this whacked-out dream soon.

Makoto's blush deepened and she looked away, embarrassed. "Right, s-sorry…"

"Don't worry about it, dear. Come along, now. Fujiwara-san and Akutoku-san are worried."

"Are the girls worried?"

"Some of them."

"Good. I-I…I like the girls."

"I know you do. Come on."

Together, the two girls started off, Makoto clinging tightly to Iori's arm. Before they left completely, Iori left Producer one final tip:

"Sir, if you want a question answered, it might be a good idea to seek out Miura-san the Wise. She's usually found in her thinking ditch at the park downtown."

_Miura…Azusa-san? _Producer thought. _…the _wise_?!_

Sighing, he thanked Iori for her tip and headed off to find Azusa. This was a weird day.

And thus, our hero's journey begins!


End file.
